Rather than sitting at home wondering why your husband’s late from work for the umpteenth time, why not negotiate your man’s infidelity and have a say in his philandering? All men are wired to cheat, so you may as well control your man’s infidelity from the get-go. By letting your man give into his temptations according to your rule book, you will work with nature rather than against it, while ensuring that your man doesn’t cross the line. On the other hand, if you try to force your man’s wandering eyes to focus on you and only you, you’ll be fighting an uphill battle.

Negotiated infidelity is a new buzz word in the dating and relationships scene. Women who negotiate infidelity let their partners cheat, as long as they can set the rules and boundaries beforehand. Happy, monogamous couples scoff at the idea of negotiated infidelity, but promiscuous men in relationships who can’t seem to fight the urge to get horizontal with any woman who isn’t their significant other are delighted by this new concept, of course. Holly Hill, the author of Sugarbabe, is the gal who coined the term “negotiated infidelity.” Hill is a 40-something Australian woman who was a well-paid prostitute mistress for a year. During this time, Hill said she realized that a woman who negotiates her man’s infidelity is far more powerful than a woman who is in the dark about her husband’s affairs.

In order for negotiated infidelity to work, the man has to be completely honest and follow strict rules laid out by his girlfriend/wife. Hill allows her boyfriend of two years to sleep with whom he pleases, as long as he doesn’t stay the night, spend a romantic weekend with her, or spoon with her. According to Hill, spooning is cheating. And that brings up an important point… what happens if your man starts to have feelings for one of the casual flings he pursued as a part of this negotiated infidelity agreement? If your man breaks the rules you set forth and starts, say, cuddling with girlfriend #2, you will feel betrayed and intensely jealous. Your man could even end up leaving you for his second woman, if he starts to believe that she is “the one.”

While some people, like Holly Hill, believe that negotiated infidelity allows a man to fulfill his biological functions while keeping his relationship intact, critics argue that negotiated infidelity could destroy the trust, love, respect, and compassion in a relationship. I have to say that I concur with the latter viewpoint. Infidelity stings, whether it’s negotiated or not. I also question why people are even taking relationship advice from a woman who got paid for sleeping with married men. There are plenty of men out there who remain faithful throughout their relationships… why can’t more men follow in their footsteps? Negotiated infidelity sounds like a poor excuse for cheating made by men who don’t want to face the consequences of their actions. Yes, I know that many men have an insatiable libido; that should give them all the more reason to rekindle the fire and maintain a healthy level of intimacy with their wives and girlfriends! Asking for permission to bonk other women is taking the easy way out. What do you think? Would negotiated infidelity help a relationship, or destroy it?